I wrote this post four years ago. Over the past few months the still pronounced sexism of this country has been thrown into the spotlight, so this post seems just as appropriate today.

To suppress or disdain women (or any “Other”) is to “posture,” as one article I read recently put it. To posture, to pretend, is to be inauthentic. This takes mental and emotional energy — it takes a psychological toll. This is from a recent study:

“Men who see themselves as playboys or as having power over women are more likely to have psychological problems than men who conform less to traditionally masculine norms, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.”

Similarly, I would assume, women who allow men to have power over them or belittle them as sex objects, would suffer emotionally. (I know I would!)

We are not born hating another; it is learned behavior that goes against our natural need to belong in community and be loved and to love. Our “traditional” roles are not necessarily “natural” and if we insist that we and others play them, we are hurting everyone involved. We have to stop photoshopping our society to supposed ideals intended to keep the hierarchical, “power-over” status quo in place. It’s time for “power-with”!