You know what scares me?

Publishing my book.

No, let me rephrase that. You know what DID scare me?

Yup, until a week ago, the idea of going through the process of getting my book published gave me chills. It seemed a Mount Everest of Unknowns, with only the guarantee of the frost-bite of Rejection Letters.

But, I now know the fear was because I wasn’t ready. I am now.

I am ready to take this journey that I know will challenge my stamina and self-confidence. I don’t know what lies ahead, what crevices, cliffs, and peaks I will face, or even how long it will take. This is probably going to be a loooong, slooooow hike.

And I invite you to come along with me. It is my hope that by sharing the journey, it won’t seem so lonely or so cold. And for those who are also wishing to publish, I hope it might serve as a Sherpa, a guide: learn from my mistakes and find encouragement in my successes.

So, here’s where The Story of My Story is now. I won’t start at the very beginning, that was the day I was born, and who’s got time for all that? I won’t even tell you how I became a writer or how I came to write the particular book I wrote (although finishing it will become the part of this story which I am very much looking forward to reading myself…).

OK, let’s start here:

Once upon a time — oh, about eight, 15, 22 years ago — I thought the apex of my life would be to get published. I thought it would be as a novelist, but then I realized I like writing about my own problems too much to make up problems for non-existent people.

Fast forward a few years. I started blogging and then I got my first by-line in a tiny magazine. Fast forward again to now. I have two weekly columns in my local paper and I see my name on the cover at least once a month. Publication is no longer a big deal.

Now, wait a minute, you say. Having a by-line in a small town’s paper isn’t exactly The Big Time. No, I know. But what it has done is taken the OMG!-ness out of it. I’ve gotten used to knowing my words are being read over coffee and commented on in cyberspace.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m no longer wanting to be published for the sake of being published (I just yesterday heard about someone who is writing soft porn, not because they are called to write it, but because, as they said, “I just want to be published.”).

Oh, don’t get me wrong, when (I believe in positive thinking) I first see my book in a bookstore window I will be doing Pharrell’s “Happy” dance on the inside (or maybe just for fun, I’ll do it for real while telling all the staring passers-by, “That’s my book. See that? I wrote that. That’s me. See?”).

No, I now want to be published because I believe that what I have to say, what I have learned – My Story – is important and can be of help to others. I know — because it already has with some with whom I have shared it — that my story resonates. Therefore, I believe I have an obligation to share it with the world.

But wait, I still haven’t said where I am right now along this path to publication. Well, I’ve babbled enough for now. I will start with my latest story of Serendipity in the next post.

To read snippets of my memoir, click here. I will be adding more as this journey progresses.