For redefinition, I was thrown back to myself, to my inner knowing… Marilyn Sewell, Cries of the Spirit
The Authentic Voice Project: Week 14 (New Moon)
N is for Need
Really, what do we need, really? I’ll tell you what I don’t need: another pair of black shoes (or brown or cordovan or purple, for that matter), that late night bowl of ice cream sprinkled liberally with natural coconut (for justification and fiber) or the huge cherry-chocolate chip scone with my coffee, or this smart phone that sucks my concentration into the little screen of brain-death. I also don’t need to beat myself up over dusty bookshelves, panic over large or unexpected bills, work obsessively on whatever project-of-the-moment has me in its “I Should” clutch, make decisions based on fear, or stay hidden in my office at the expense of making new connections and friends.
What society tells us we need is far, far from what we as humans actually need. And what we tell ourselves we need or need to do is usually exactly the opposite to our true needs. Do you need to stay silent at your own expense for fear of offending another? Do you need to stay put just in case that adventure might possibly turn out not exactly as you have envisioned? Do you need to continue in the job that is draining you of energy and spirit? Do you need to skip that painting class because you’d be a neglectful parent if you leave for the evening? What restraints do we put on ourselves out of guilt? What expectations do we put on ourselves in the form of projection (what we think others expect of us)? (And if they are telling you they need something from you, they are searching outside themselves for happiness. You will never make another person the kind of happy that is deep and personally fulfilling, only they can do that.)
In reality what we all need, boiled down to its basics, is:
- Connection/Love (with self, others, nature)
- Belonging (Count)
- To Contribute
- To be Capable and Courageous
When we meet these needs (which, after the first two, are all INTRINSIC), all others pale – they raise your energy, which in turn contributes to the raised energy of The All. Do not base your needs on what another says you need, even (especially) if they claim it is for your own good. No matter how much you love them or they love you, if it doesn’t fit with your own authentic, intuitive need, if it doesn’t resonate with you (if you can feel that resonance over the thump of fear), you don’t really need it. Tune into your heart, into your inner voice and let it tell you what YOU need.
Prompt: “If I were tell my own truth, what I really need, for me, right now, is… “
(Thanks goes out to Lana for the suggestion of this topic.)