Envision your Future and Fear Not

In March 1997 (I was 25), I wrote in my journal:

When I peer into an undated future (maybe 10 years)… I see myself in my own home, married… I never think of myself working [outside the home], no I’m writing… in a sunny room with birds singing outside the window…

In a blog post from January 2009, I wrote this:

Well, here I am twelve years later writing at a big desk in a sunny room… And next to me pinned to my cork board is a little magazine opened to an article with my name printed right below it.

I truly believe in manifesting your dreams, especially in writing. So many things have fallen into place for me because I had visualized and wrote about them first.

I have put in writing many times before my hope of becoming a freelance writer (and I am kind of partial to those paying types of jobs, please) but I am visualizing it here and now for you all to share (bear with me, s’il vous plait). I also have a new dream brewing.

OK, it’s 2014. It is actually sunny in my sunny writing room. My children are at school (because in this dream they are never sick and preventing me from working) and I have a deadline for an essay I’m submitting to Brain, Child (my 5th one for them). This evening I will be walking over to the studio I have created in our converted garage to teach a journal workshop.

Well, it’s 2013 and my deadline isn’t for Brain, Child (that one is still on my to-do list) but I am a freelance writer (and getting paid!) working from home and I am facing three deadlines for my two columns and a cover story. Now, that I could never have imagined!

And I am writing this from my “sunny” office with warm pumpkin orange walls. Tomorrow morning I will commute all the way across my yard to teach in that garage that has indeed been converted (into the Writers’ Room) as per my dream.

Recently I posted to Facebook my gratitude for actually living this life I had envisioned. In response a friend wrote:

That is SO great Joanna because I think most of us don’t have the courage to really follow our dreams. We aren’t risk-takers and so get stuck in lives where we work for someone else and aren’t truly happy. Bravo to you…..if you can give people one piece of advice for following our dreams – what would it be?

Here was my response:

Trust that if it is your authentic path/dream, it will happen. Walk in trust, not fear.

Although I seem to need to remind myself of this everyday, it is important to remember that if we never faced something we fear we would never change, never grow, never move forward.

Fear is a message; it is an invitation to participate in your authentic life.

I have written many times on this blog about facing fear. Here are a list: https://wisdomwithinink.com/?s=trust+fear

PROMPTS:

I am afraid of… but if I wasn’t I would…

In 5 years time, I …

Trust your pen

I have to share a beautiful experience that speaks to the power of the pen to tap into something deeper and older than we can explain.

This morning I was reading The Chalice and the Blade by Riane Eisler. I won’t go into all the emotions this book arouses in me but I cannot emphasize strongly enough that EVERY woman in the world – and every man who was born from the body of a beautiful woman – should read this book. I’m sure I will touch on this some more in the future. However, the point is, as I sat here by the fire contemplating the repercussions of Eisler’s words, I suddenly realized what I had to do.

With my life.

Yeah, kind of a big deal.

Of course, I rushed to my journal to talk this epiphany through, to make sure I had heard my heart correctly. And yes, I had. My whole life, from the family and church I was born into, to the thesis I wrote as an undergrad, to writing a journal for the past 20-odd years, to teaching, to my Goddard Master’s degree program – all have led me to this place, right now. My eyes have been opened and I now have a responsibility to do something with the knowledge I have been given.

But here is the actual point of this post: As I put the period at the end of the final sentence of my journal entry, I wrote in big letters, SHALOM. That’s strange, I thought, why would I write a Hebrew word when the Hebrew Bible was what caused most of this trouble [i.e. the suppression of women] in the first place? So, I looked it up. Here’s what I read:

Shalom also means completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. Shalom comes from the root verb shalom meaning to be complete, perfect and full. (via http://www.therefinersfire.org/meaning_of_shalom.htm)

By speaking out about how and why we as a species became so unbalanced psychologically and spiritually, it is the point of my thesis work and my teaching to help others on their own quest for wholeness to feel “complete, perfect and full.”

Shalom, indeed.

So, trust your pen. Write what it wants to write. You know more than you know you know.