Envision your Future and Fear Not

In March 1997 (I was 25), I wrote in my journal: When I peer into an undated future (maybe 10 years)… I see myself in my own home, married… I never think of myself working [outside the home], no I’m writing… in a sunny room with birds singing outside the window… In a blog post […]

Tolerating Fear

This is a recycled post from a couple of years ago. With summer in full , hot swing, the kids are home most days of the week leaving me very little chance to write (the beach and my laptop aren’t great friends). I am yearning to write but when I do have a moment I […]

Trust the process, part 4 (The Crash)

In the middle of the week of my MA residency at Goddard College I attended a workshop named “Wild Research” with Ellie Epp. The description sounded fascinating: “Move only along the line of your love.” Stan Brakhage Transdisciplinary work is thrilling, like travel without a map. Working across disciplinary lines also is nerve-wracking: we parachute […]

Trust the Process, pt 3 (The Question)

The mantra at Goddard College is “Trust the process.” Every day one or more faculty advisors included in their discussion, “… and, well, trust the process. It works.” With no syllabus or course curriculum most of us newbies, those who had been educated in a strictly outlined, non-critically-thinking fashion (oh, that would be all of […]

Trust the Process, pt 2 (The Womb)

The morning of day two at Goddard College my stomach was still a bag of jelly fish. I had slept fitfully through slamming doors, footsteps, ill-fitting sheets and my roomie’s arrival at 2AM. And I woke up at 5AM. I managed to doze until 6:30AM but I was out the door and looking for a […]

Trust the process, pt 1 (The Arrival)

How do even begin to write about my week? It was intense, exhausting, relaxing, exhilarating, freeing, validating, educational, empowering. On Thursday evening I drove into Goddard College in Plainfield, VT. I felt ill with nerves. Even a walk around the stunningly beautiful campus couldn’t settle the raging butterflies. (This is a campus like no other […]

Quoting Natalie: Tolerating fear

“First recognize that you’re afraid and slowly build your tolerance for fear… … You may still feel it, but you become willing to bear it as you write. You keep your hand moving, you stay there, you move closer and closer to the edge of what scares you.” – Natalie Goldberg, Thunder and Lightning I […]

Let the river take me: Learnings from facilitating an at-risk group

I originally wrote this article for Chrysalis, The Journal of Transformative Language Arts (which is currently under maintenance), April 2016    Let the river take me,  a compilation poem Let the river take me — Even when it hurts, it breathes with the joy of laughter, undulating. I choke on life, I’m really here in the world. I […]

This is not a political post, it is a processing of grief

This morning I woke to find that the nightmare developing when I finally went to bed at 1AM, the one where the map turned increasingly red, was real. I immediately broke down sobbing. I haven’t really stopped since. My children have never seen me like this; it scared them. I tried to gain control of […]